Dear Everyone,

I'm over humanity. My welcome has been worn down, and I have to go. Somedays my mind is in the clouds, floating through the air with great admiration for each and everyone of you. Love fills my vacant pit, and all I can do is smile. It's sweet tasting, but the sweet turns sour the longer the milk is left out. It's not from a lack of gratitude, it's from a lack of personal involvement. Time is shrinking, hours are passing, and my beating organ is shades of black and grey. Words are smelling like dog shit. Promises are outdated, null, and void. Do you really care? No, you don't. Do I really care? I guess not. Even those here in the present have yet to prove their claims. No longer do I dwell on the concept of longevity, for it's all a sham. There's hope for few, and the feelings are unconditional... but not for many. Alone isn't by choice, but by fate. You surround me, but I'm not there. A shell of a human is there, but the id has yet to be unbridled, and the history has yet to be revealed. Part ego, part super ego, that's all your eyes can see. I've become an idea, I've grown as a character... but as soon the shell starts cracking, the yolk starts dripping down your hand, you don't know what to do. 

In the end... I don't know if I exist. I'm unsure how to prove I'm part of this reality, or if there's anything to prove at all. I'm just a myth. I only exist in stories.

Too Many Deadly Sins to Name

Long time no update... in fact, it's been a half a year. I need to stop being lazy and just WRITE. I know I haven't written in a long time because I wanted to write about my trip to Israel, but alas, I just never got around to finishing that piece.
I could recap the whole year, but I think it's better if I discuss the present. I mean, so far, this year has been a helluva ride, but I'd be only writing about it for memories sake, and I'd rather just write what's on my mind now...

I've started to pick up on signs this year. I'm realizing more and more how the universe attempts to teach us lessons by sending certain things our way. Be it a DUI or getting fired from a job... or, maybe it's just stupid luck, and there's no forces controlling us but ourselves. Regardless, I'll take all these "signs" for what they could or could not be and utilize them as lessons.
Currently I'm attempting to move back to Philadelphia. It's not gonna be as easy as before, but it's what I need to do for my mental health. I haven't told all my friends around here mostly because I don't have too many friends around here anymore. Besides my 2 best friends, it's a rare thing to talk, let alone see any of these kids. And, really, I don't even care much. Friendships reliant on memories aren't friendships, they're characters in previous chapters of your life. We've outgrown each other, and I feel like a miserable fucker when I'm around them, so why bother?
"Why bother?" It seems to be my motto these days. Even though the pace has picked up some and I'm trying rather hard to accomplish certain things, much of the time I'm doing this instead of that. Everyday is a new day, so why do I keep waiting for something "new"? I'm making excuses.

 Wish I had more to say. This is a shitty post after 6 months of not writing. Inspiration, please slap me in the face... oh well, it's a start (again).